update on culinary + some scr shots from skyrim

so culinaryz gonna start in march. will update pics of food and such then.

for the meantime CHRISTMASSSS

got earrings but no pierced ears.
now thinkin of piercin em >.>



people need to stop being so obnoxious and loud in public places.


s/o likes to go out
i would like to go out
but i dont like people

so.

ya.

so i try but sometimes it gets really hard
because all i want is just a quiet evening

sometimes listenin to metal
sometimes not


game music is really the best

jus so epic or soothing and or fun

i dno if i posted pics from skyrim yet but mammoths give ZERO fucks

literally zero. even to dragons.

this guy killed the dragon without me helping pretty much

really liked the lights here. wanna see aurora lights IRL when i can


bonus: from dota 2 one of my favourite wallpapers !

























so ya! too early to say merry christmas so I hope people are doin well


~ Vi

Love is a growing craving

Love is a craving

It is the warmth in your heart

When you see her smile

It is the feeling of incomparable defeat

When you feel as though you have disappointed

It is the desire to be with her for everything

When no-one else is good enough anymore

It is the colour in your life

When the world that was once sepia becomes vibrant shades

It is the feeling of being complete

When you know she's also feeling this craving

Steps

"Yes, pigs like any animal can be agressive. They are big. They have teeth, and hoves and simple body mass. To keep them gentle, interact with them in a positive manner from the start. Tame them. Get them used to thinking of you in a positive frame. But never let them think they are boss. You must be the boss, the alpha, the leader. Any overly agressive animals should simply be eaten. You want to cull the herd of any who are nasty. That must be a firm rule – Be nice or be dinner."

That quote is so describing who I want to be that it's not even funny.

What kind of guy runs a farm where he can grow pigs and eat them in time for Christmas dinner?

The guy who wants to be an awesome chef and cook the best things ever.

Its decided.

I am for sure going for culinary school. There are no more doubts in my mind. I will make the best food ever to please my Vi.



OH GOD IM LIKE THAT GUY

Must make best food for Vi..

Tilapia farming. They only need running water for exercise. Make them strong by training them hard and running their water at intervals of 1 day sprint 1 day rest. Feed them quality food.

(EASY)


Pig farming. This is more intense but taking care of a pig from a baby can change completely the quality of the meat. Keeping a pig well taken care of for 8 months is a very easy task once funds are easily accessed.

(This is much later on)


Growing and taking care of a pear tree with healthy fertilizer and proper nutrition. Then harvesting
the really good pear and grinding up the seeds for added seasoning on my fish.
Store bought will probably be fine for now.


Bouillon I need to do more. It seems like a hassle but its not. You can keep liquid bouillon in the fridge forever.


growing own herbs and spices are easy and a must. That shit is required, don't skimp on that when you start cooking well man.
Remember what you learned... herb plants require 6 hours of sunlight each day and not be too hot in the afternoons. That means planting a fan at them during summer.

TURN THE PLANT POT FREQUENTLY. MARK YOUR POT.

One of the biggest reasons plants die is because water gets stagnant at the bottom and it kills the plant. Drain thorougly, you don't want that dirty water rot the crap out of your roots. It was during this moment that I realized that the words 'Rot and Root' are one letter apart.

6 to 8 inches in height before touching those bad-boys and take only a quarter at a time or you'll kill it bro. Don't cut again until it's healed completely back to when you cut it. That stuff needs time, dont kill your plant bro.



So these are just some few things that I can do to make proper quality foods that is deserving of my Vi, just make sure to never forget what drives you and ... Be nice  or Be dinner.

title not needed

went to the Christmas Market on a whim. yes i realize it's november and for the people who have hardcore decorations and lights on... man.. u guys r insane. 

we went on the carousel CAUSE WHY NOT and it was all fun and stuff. YE BOI

we also did the whole cheesy thing of going to the photobooth to take pics. mostly cause we have very few pics of us together since we refuse to do stupid "selfies"

most ppl hate christmas music, i think a lot of is actually quite enjoyable to listen to. also while visiting my s/o's house, they had lobster. and i've never seen a lobster this big

TADAAA. lobster. ok i dont understand. this thing is cooked but it has elastics on its claws still. im just gonna pretend i didnt notice that.

The Other World Part 3

  Feeling lonely, Entity looked up but found nothing.  Still pitch black, Entity strained to see anything, anything at all.  Time has passed, how much? None know in this swirling abyss.  Finally arriving on the next area, the entity is hopeful.  Some flickering lights still exist, but so many were wiped out.  Darkness so evil, so greedy, wanting more and more.  Even now, trails of smoke latched onto the surviving lifeforms.  One of the sparks reached out to Entity, a purple one.  Suddenly it grew to a lingering form, swaying this and that as if unsure.  Entity moves back, confused, speculative... but unafraid.  Is this the one? Before the entity realized what was going on, the purple form had infused itself with the entity's purple guardians. 

  It is the one then.  the one that left the purple to guard me so long ago. I have been searching so long for you I almost forgot. 

The purple and blue souls dance together, intertwining and forming new shades. Such joy had not been witnessed since the Darkness.  The other lights shined brighter in response... but some also fell to Darkness.

Funky Winker Beans

My friend is in a band called Opus Arise, and she invited us to their performance at Funky Winker Beans.  When you walk in, you're greeted by loud metal / rock.  It was pretty dark and still early, so we decided to go grab a bite before returning to the club. Unfortunately, Funky Winker Beans did not serve food so we went right next door. 

..nomnomnom 
while we were eating, my other friend texted me so I invited him to come join us.  We told him to head on in first since we were almost done eating. Upon seeing him, I feel like that was one of the most "emo" things I've ever witnessed. When we entered, he was in a corner sitting by himself and staring off into space... all this with metal playing in the background.  

BUT DONT WORRY GUYS HE CHEERED UP WHEN WE ARRIVED

so we chatted n hung out for a bit until Opus Arise performed

My absolute favourite part about metal is the double bass. Drumming takes so much stamina in this genre. HEADBANG


Dec 6 is their next performance. I will update the whereabouts if you're in Vancouver and would like to come!

FOOD

Hey guys

So I will be startin culinary school next year with Ren 
We will probably blog about it and I will definitely share yummy pics. updates will come soon about fud.



anyhooo

nice to be back. cool refreshin air :D

I wasn't able to upload this so sorry about a late Halloween thing

but here's the first pumpkin Ren and I carved together!

P.S. ROLO IS DATING SOMEONE 

Maplestory and stuff

So. Started maplestory cuz s/o 
and it's pretty fun i guess
not a high skill level cap is only downside (compared to hard pvp)

but
IM FAAAAAABULOUSSSSS

s/o gave me a tiger. doesnt it look awesome?
cause. cause. it's like super rare and. badass.

yeeuh.
YEEUH

ye boi


also DARGONS. need em pets to loot stuff. and buff

another awesome feature is class mounts!
I'm playin a mercedes cause i like to do the pew pew
and apparently they come with....
are u ready?
drum roll pls.


UNICORNS!!!!

TADAAA that's the lvl 50 version. i will post the lvl 70 version soon. (difference is lvl 70 one can fly!)

look at that pretty flower
yeeuh.
maplestory life

signed Vi

New Amsterdam Cafe

I came upon this place after exploring the cafes along Hastings street. It's entrance attracts eyes to the various glassware and marijuana related things encompassed within the glass showcases that lead into the store. Once you enter you're greeted with high ceilings and colourful hand-painted artwork that makes the place so unique. If there's something you need in your adventures of marijuana then this place has it. They stock vapes, glassware, grinders, containers to store weed in, clothing with their name on it, you name it. They even have postcards if that's your thing.

The reason I go so frequently is the vapour bar aspect of the cafe. They let you rent a vapourizer to use for an hour and it is a different, and in my opinion, much better way to smoke marijuana. I go for my chamomile tea and vape, it's a pretty good combination. I've met many interesting people and brought many friends to this place just to have a casual chat and smoke. It's a different atmosphere and it brings out a different vibe from each person that comes and stays to enjoy the place, usually it's a pleasant one.

The sandwiches are good, I've personally tried them all just to make sure that I knew which one I liked. I would recommend one of the special grilled cheese sandwiches (So aptly named, the Cheech or the Chong), they are very good (Make sure to ask for ketchup if that's you're style).

The various pastries are such a tease when you sit at the bar. They're all very good and they have a nice selection of gluten-free items that would please even the most picky eater.

The drinks are good, I come back for the tea and maybe sometimes for a smoothie if I feel like something especially nice. 

Don't ever get the pie, it is way too good and I have to pretend it's not there to stop myself from getting some each time I visit. But if you do ignore my advice, just remember that it comes with ice cream so enjoy each bite with a bit of it on your spoon, it's how it's meant to be eaten and for good reason.

The ventilation is nice, especially for a vapour bar that allows their customers to smoke up joints and bongs, the fans circulate the air around the cafe, allowing the stale smoky air to exit through the back or the front. 

At night it gets extremely busy. Patrons standing and leaning on the tables to enjoy their smoking and eating, their eyes absently looking around during lulls of silence in their conversations, patiently waiting for those who are finished to leave to eagerly  scoop up their seat. But don't let that stop you from coming, it is an experience that I recommend most everyone to try out at least once in their life. 

During the day it becomes more of a chill location, one where I have in many occasions chosen to do my writing at. If the thought of coming here when it's packed still overwhelms you, come during the day. It's all smiles and friendliness from the staff and the owner.

The music varies depending on the person(s) working at the time. Personally, I never had any problem with their music selection, it varies from Hip Hop to electronic and from jazz and rock. 

Like the music selection, the visitors of this cafe vary from different kinds of places. There are tourists who come to visit and enjoy the sights, students who come during breaks just to enjoy a snack, business men and women in suits and formal attire looking to smoke in between meetings, retirees who are eager to exchange a few words, and many others. So if you fall under the group of people who would never go here, I implore you to rethink and visit it one day, it is an experience that you can't really get anywhere else in North America.

This pie is amazing

a thought is the loudest silence of all

so i like adding words to pictures. gonna do that for this picture I found:

The earth shook like never before.  A great shadow crept upon the land.  There was no need to warn the people; the giants could be seen... heard... felt from far away.  They towered over what we thought were great mountains.  The worst part was that they were not alone.  Hundreds of flying contraptions inched forward.  I could only try to keep my steed steady as I watched the horde advance.  The beautiful land was about to be filled with despair and destruction. The land that we tended for so many years. A great sorrow enveloped me.

THE SNOW GLOWS WHITE ON THE MOUNTAIN TONIGHT

not a footprint to be seeeen

quiet, mysterious as the dark side of the mooon

let's get down to business

can you paint with all the colours of the wind?

no one to tell us no or where to go or say we're only dreaming

tale as old as time

darling it's better down where it's wetter under the sea

nobody beats us fry us and eats us

POKEMON! gotta catch em all

we are one 

we will stand by your side 

filled with hope and filled with pride

you've got a friend in me 

when the road looks rough ahead and your miles and miles from your nice warm bed

you just remember what your old pal said

Hakuna Matata



~ VI + REN +  Mashup Sources:
       -  Let it Go - Frozen
       -  I'll Make A Man Out Of You - Mulan
       -  Colours of the Wind - Pocahontas
       -  A Whole New World - Aladdin
       -  Tale As Old As Time - Beauty and the Beast
       -  Under The Sea - The Little Mermaid
       -  Pokemon Theme Song - Pokemon
       -  We Are One - Lion King 2
       -  You've Got A Friend In Me - Toy Story
       -  Hakuna Matata - Lion King

Games and more games

As an avid gamer I thought I'd compile a list of notable games for other gamers.
will update as more games come to mind and when i have more time



Adventure/Action
Bastion
Skyrim
Prototype
Destiny 2

CRPG
Divinity

Flash 
Armor Games 
- The Last Stand
- The Last Stand 2
- Sonny
- Sonny 2
- Sinjid: Shadow of the Warrior
- Sinjid

Hack N Slash with Action/Adventure
Gauntlet 
Magicka
Torchlight
Risk of Rain
Realm of the Mad God
Castle Crashers

MMO(RPG)
Runescape
World of Warcraft
Guild Wars
Guild Wars 2

MoBA (Multiplayer online battle arena)
THERE IS ONLY Dota 2
... that I find challenging enough and exciting enough.


Real Time Strategy
Warcraft III
Age of Empires
Age of Empires II
StarCraft 
Command and Conquer
Majesty < the old school one is friggin awesome. on like windows 98

Shooters (fps + 3rd person)
Borderlands
Borderlands 2
Deus Ex
Warframe 
Destiny 2

Sandbox
Terraria
MineCraft

Zombie type games
Dead Island
Left 4 Dead 
Left 4 Dead 2

purple turtle

say it 5 times i dare ya

have you ever laughed at something but it came out weird like how voice cracks but for laughing
and then you kinda laughed at yourself in embarrassment right after
and then you laughed at urself laughin in embarrassment laughin at your weird laugh? while someone else is laughin at you as all this is happening?

cause..
that happened.
or does this shit just kinda happen to me only?




another thing that's always fun
fuckin taiwan man

is
having to go to the bathroom
and suddenly cockroach
and you're like well
i have to find that fuckin cockroach
and kill it
cause of my stupid fear of it crawling up my butthole or something
JOY!

so .
ya

fun.

purple turtle purple turtle purple turtle purple turtle 

Music and stuff

I've  discovered that apart from metal, I love game music. It's almost always well written and entertaining, made for repetition but without annoyance. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD THAT IS!?!?!?

example: super mario theme. i could listen to it everyday. in fact i sometimes play it when i'm playin other games that don't really have music. 

Zelda has awesome music but those big names usually do since they have a big crowd.

A lot of unappreciated works are online. includin smalll games made by individuals just for fun that turn big.  
e.g. see my other post for Sonny (from armor games) 
I'm actually listening to it as i write this
it's just on idle in another tab


Ren says hi by the way
he is very busy sleeping. he woke up just to say hi to u guys! arent u all special.

teehee

rolo also says hi. he's busy cleaning his glasses.

ALRIGHT. c y'all


~ Vi

SONNY WAZZZZUP???

HEY THERE SONNY

i mean hi there ppl!

I'M BAAACK FOOS
mwaahahahahah


SO. extreme boredom. still  have more funeral rites then I will b done wid all dis.

ARMOR GAMES!!! nostalgia time!

Top favourites all time Sonny, Sinjid, The Last Stand etc

looking to kill time?
i highly recommend startin with sonny before going for Sinjid
link: http://armorgames.com/play/505/sonny

I chose the assassin class. I will show you my skill tree so far (im lvl 20). the equip x# means the # of times i put that skill on the circle of skills available. Some skills you can equip more than once! *
Abilities: 1/5 Smash
                1/3 Wound < equip x1  - more damage taken + dot why not?
                1/1 Break < equip x1  - stun's always useful!
                1/5 Disruption
                1/5 Sunder
                5/5 Master Strike < equip x2  I AM THE MASTAAAAA
                3/3 Coup de Grace < equip x1  literally. KABOOM. die mothafucka
                1/5 Blood Focus  < equip x1 NEEED MOAR POWAA
                5/5 Brutality < passive.  MORE DAMAGESSS
you can take some points in brutality and put it in regen for more focus regen each round. or put more points into blood focus . for some reason veradux does not like giving me the focus regen buff so I will probably respec and invest in focus regeneration.

Stat Distribution:  4 speed 1 str 1 vit, 4 speed 1 str, 4 speed 1 str 1 vit,  2spd
total of :  19 attribute points. ^ show u the pattern of how to distribute.



*you have 5 free re-specs per day. you WILL NEED to respec against certain opponents esp end game vs doctor herregods. SUBVERSION HIS ASS! he will heal himself when he's below 990k hp


I will also write my build and stuff for Sinjid later on if you guys want it. if you need any help with anything just let me know in the comments!


game on! and remember to have fun!

Hello

Hey guys it's been a while. Sorry. I have been really busy with funerals and family stuff.  Word of advice, even if you mean well, don't trouble the bereaved with extra things such as extra flowers or food or funeral rites. Chances are they already have things planned and they appreciate your offer but it's very troublesome to fit it into the schedule and they'd have to kindly decline. 


On the bright side I have time to play pokemon x! (see other post. spoilers alert.)


Thank you viewers for continuously checking our blog ! We will vigilantly try to update this as much as possible.

Pokemon (SPOILERS ALERT)

So I'm currently playin pokemon x . Although I love the original Pokemon games (and the original 150) pokemon, some of the new features are pretty cool!

SPOILERS ALERT!!



* * *



For instance, super training does make ev a lot easier.
Mega evolutions are sick! http://www.serebii.net/xy/megaevolutions.shtml
Pokemon amie is fun, especially on certain pokemon. - example: Kangaskhan does not appreciate you petting her child. If you try and pet charmander's (and further evolutions) tail, you will get burnt.

I am not going for competitive battles so my pokemon do not have perfect IV's etc etc.  My aim is to catch em all ^.^

Currently using:

Greninja 
Torrent: 252 SAtk / 252 Spd / 6 Hp Hasty Nature - Surf - Dark Pulse - Ice Beam - U-turn
(Surf for 100% accuracy, U-turn for convenience switching)

Talonflame
Flame Body: 252 Atk / 252 Spd / 6 Hp Adamant Nature - Brave Bird - Flare Blitz - Roost - Swords Dance
( gale wings is much better for competitive)

Charizard
Blaze /  Tough Claws: 252 Atk / 252 Spd / 6 Hp Adamant Nature - Earthquake, Focus Punch, Substitute, Dragon Claw
(optional Flare blitz, etc. I am using mega evolution in x version so charizard turns dragon type)

Kangaskhan - one of my favourites. especially the mega form parental bond is OP
Scrappy / Parental Bond: 252 Atk / 252 Spd / 6 Hp Adamant Nature - Power-Up Punch - Sucker Punch - Earthquake - Dizzy Punch
(Return and Fake out are also options but i went for mega so the double hit build ^)

I am having trouble deciding for the last two pokemon. Lucario I'm only considering since according to the story line it wants to be with me and I do appreciate story lines.  Gardevoir is also very awesome and strong as a fairy type but I'd rather go with Xerneas; it is afterall, the legendary pokemon for x.  Another extremely strong pokemon is Gengar with the ability levitate.  Poison and Steel are the only super effective types against Fairy.  

So.. I'll probably ultimately go with Gengar and Xerneas.


But I can't just ditch Lucario =(


So yeah. Have fun guys!

A final thought

This chapter of my life is nearing an end.

I've finally gotten a taste of what I can expect in the future if I work towards it.

It's so much better than before.


It's reminiscent to the reading the final pages of a book that you couldn't seem to put down. How everything seems to conclude and lead to the final parts, knowing deep down that somehow as long as I'm with the person I love and I keep working hard, I can succeed and be happy with what I have.

It's like knowing that the main character of a story will live happily ever after.

It reminded me long ago of that night in the darkness, my sheets covering me in an arc, laying itself gently over my head and capturing the white glow of the laptop as it shone directly at my face. I scrolled through websites now unknown and stumbled very fatefully at the final comic edition of Calvin and Hobbes.

It made me realize that maybe in a world filled with such uncertainty and magic, even someone like me might make it through alright after all.

lost

no place to call home
no place that feels like home
the shadows grow tall
the walls close in

no place to feel safe
no place to feel loved
just dark patches
blurry blots of nothingness

no place to be free
no place to just sing
howls of pain
suffering and death

no place to be

just to be

to exist

just faded memories

floating around
lost

memoirs of a beautiful girl

to my beloved\\\\\\\

SNOOOOO SNOOOOO

jk

anyhooo
HAH THAT RHYMED
es u're so coo\sthusafsf; asfs;
kehboa too har

k


so


anway

hai


I RAV RUUU

so h whoa STO CHOCKIN I JUS WANNA WRIE
t's o har with our keyboad
keboad
kbo.
we

ssthis

Bad karma

When all the bad begins

And the luck starts to run dry.

When all the good times become grey.

And the sadness begins again.

Just be grateful that you're still human.

Able to feel and digest

Small blips like this

Infinitesimal in the big picture.

A chime the dime makes falling on the pavement

In the middle of a busy street

In the middle of nowhere

Around thousands of strangers.

Beautiful things

Recently I haven't had the chance to delve into my mind and write about things that I find profound or even mundane. It's a good feeling knowing that there is something now that draws the attention of my mind with such intensity that even during the rare times where something else is occupying my thoughts, I know eventually that it will all go back to the warm and comforting thoughts.

I want to write about something that's been bugging me lately. 

Writing has always been my source of introspection, a way to look into my mind through my fingers and eyes. There is a beautiful moment when I write where I feel liquid and everything just seems to flow so naturally from my mind down through my fingers and into the page. It's a very rare exaltation that I thought I could never experience outside of writing.

But I've been feeling that electricity again. The thrill that comes from seeing those ideas floating in your head so eager and brimming with anticipation of being born into this world through writing is somehow recreated for me with the one I love.

It's such an old cliche but I guess I understand now why love is so prevalent in everything we do.

I like to wonder if, in the greater scheme of things, happiness is a different entity than love. Can one exist without the other or are they packaged together like a neat little box lunch probably packed with individual ketchup packets and maybe one or two hot sauce packets. I bet it's got some legit meat and maybe some rice or a little bit of fruit.

Personally I could never grasp the whole happiness pantomime with smiling and being all joyful until I got to know its close friend love. I thought it was just some mockery of a feeling that stemmed from people wanting something to explain why they weren't sad. When I'm not sad I must be happy right?

It just bugged the fuck out of me that the word happiness became such an umbrella term for so many other things that it's meaning became so frivolous.

Nowadays people can't even give you a concrete definition of the word happiness unless they quote the mechanical dictionary meaning or they grace you with their hmm'ing and err'ing's for an hour.

Maybe I'm being so cynical and too rigid about this all but after being asked what happiness is for the tenth time and being unable to produce a decent answer, I really needed to get to the bottom of this.

This brings me back to the subject of love.

Love to me is a totally different creature. It's the strongest link two people can have between each other. THAT IS FACT, I DONT GIVE A FUCK IF YOU THINK OTHERWISE.

It's searching for a good balance between two people and understanding that to keep love strong, the balance sometimes needs to be re-calibrated.

Personally I believe it's an understanding between two individuals.

An openness reserved for the one you love that is otherwise uncomfortable. 

Gentle kindness; because exposing yourself to another person so profoundly turns a heart very fragile.

The ability to recognize the selfish aspects of each other and realize that these are the things that mold the person into who they are.

Respecting the fact that everyone has a light side and a dark side.

Understanding that we are each going through our own particular version of reality, their own story.

Then to nurture.

I think the only advice I would give myself each time I'm troubled and start thinking about the meaning of happiness or love is to stop over-thinking.

Happiness or love can't be defined so easily by words or turned into some abstract formation of lines (How the fuck do you represent joy with lines anyway?).

Stop over-thinking and just make her smile, because that's what she is trying to do for you.

stop writing and go to sleep, you have work tomorrow.

some sophisticated title

I told the witch doctor, I was in love with you
I told the witch doctor, I was in love with you
And then the witch doctor, he told me what to do
He told me:

Ooh, eeh, ooh, ah, ah, ting, tang, walla, walla, bing, bang
Ooh, eeh, ooh, ah, ah, ting, tang, walla, walla, bing, bang
Ooh, eeh, ooh, ah, ah, ting, tang, walla, walla, bing, bang
Ooh, eeh, ooh, ah, ah, ting, tang, walla, walla, bing, bang

I told the witch doctor, you didn't love me true
I told the witch doctor, you didn't love me nice
And then the witch doctor, he gave me this advice:

Ooh, eeh, ooh, ah, ah, ting, tang, walla, walla, bing, bang
Ooh, eeh, ooh, ah, ah, ting, tang, walla, walla, bing, bang
Ooh, eeh, ooh, ah, ah, ting, tang, walla, walla, bing, bang
Ooh, eeh, ooh, ah, ah, ting, tang, walla, walla, bing, bang

You can keep your love from me just like you were a miser,
And I'll admit it wasn't very smart,
But I went out to find my-self a guy that's so much wiser,
And he told me the way to win your heart:

Ooh, eeh, ooh, ah, ah
Ooh, eeh, ooh, ah, ah
Ooh, eeh, ooh, ah, ah
Ooh, eeh, ooh, ah, ah, ting, tang, walla, walla, ging, bang

Come on and:
Ooh, eeh, ooh, ah, ah, ting, tang, walla, walla, bing, bang
Ooh, eeh, ooh, ah, ah, ting, tang, walla, walla, bing, bang
Ooh, eeh, ooh, ah, ah, ting, tang, walla, walla, bing, bang
Ooh, eeh, ooh, ah, ah, ting, tang, walla, walla, bing, bang

this is a blog right?

like the wind blowing through the trees
like the sea storming in the sea
what.

yes.

like the boob in the boobies

the glass in the glasses


what.

yes.



squeeze squeeze




i'm horny


roLAND

they see me rollin
they hating

i am the ro LAND
land of the RO

I wait for the day someone gives me as much as I give them.
So far null.
Maybe one day.
i doubt it.

what is happiness?
im pretty sure it doesnt exist.

Suicide

The day started terribly, I woke up suddenly from the stress and I felt the beginning of my flu already emerging in the morning, greeting me with a nice throaty cough.

Then I stepped on a tack.

But who fucking cares because I have work.

Doesn't matter because I'm training the person who will probably be replacing me soon. Then I try to fix things but they never fix because I'm always wrong and everything I do I never do correctly anymore.

That's what I feel like now.



Someone who tries and tries but always seem to fall short.



Doctors are a good reminder of ones humanity. How fragile someone like me is.

Apparently I'm weak and I shouldn't let things affect me so much. Like getting the flu from stress. That's a pretty big fucking deal isn't it?

But I should be able to easily fix that, right? I don't even know anymore.



Then I argued with someone on the phone and forgot to smile at the person most important to me because I was still so angry at the person on the phone.

Then I pissed everyone off eventually.

Why am I even alive?

pain

feeling it again
unappreciated
disgrace
shame

guilt

pain


why do i even bother
trying to go out of my way
to please them?
they dont care

went to find a rock
cause he likes rocks
also cuz the bookstore was closed..
not that i'd know what book to get him anyway
but no
the one I pick not good enough

well sorry DAD
that i have school and i'm tryin to fuckin please you
i hate school
doing it for u

sorry DAD that i cant work full time AND fuckin do schoool
sorry that i cant fucking please u no matter what i fucking do

SORRY I'M NOT A FUCKIN SON



fuck azn parents


this is when i wonder if i'm better off dead

New place = new ppl

I'm not one for going out of my way to make friends, but when you're studying in an intensive program with a smaller class you have to.  So many people from Mexico and we got 2 Brazilians (sure as hell not gonna game with them).  Apparently they don't game so... I guess no worries?

So far I'm only comfortable with 2 people in my class. Both gamers of course, but one of them is going to game design as well. 

Still, everyday I'm just looking forward to seeing my partner. 

One day at a time, closer to freedom.





Goals:

Not die.
Not skip.
Do well in school.
Make more friends?
Stay ahead in hwk and projects...
...
screw all that
LET'S GO LONGBOARDING

Animes/Mangas

One Piece
Code Geass
Full Metal Alchemist
Death Note
Working!!
Toradora
Puella Magi
Fairy Tail
Skip Beat

The Other World Part 2

(please read Part 1 first)

A faint light appeared in the distance.  The hopeful soul forces the entity to stop and look.  Sure enough, it was the green spark, it had returned.  Its light, though diminished by its journey, quickly regained its former glow as it drew off the kindness of the entity's soul.  The soul brightened in return, gladly embracing the warmth and light of the green spark, also happy at the spark's joy.

* * *

Smoke... fog... drifting... blanketing the ground... both dangerous and safe. could go either way. fractured thoughts, restless mind, entity moves on.

* * *

      The green spark bounced as it floated, as if content.  The blue soul glowed in response, growing slightly.  The purple swirls circled, forever wary.  The green spark had left it, the guards made sure to protect the soul so it would not be hurt again... hopefully.  Why make up such petty, unnecessary lies when... no... especially to someone so understanding and kind?  Meanwhile the entity trudged on, following the light of the green spark.  Darkness so heavy made the entity hunch over, made it want to stop and give up, but the entity slowly moved on. Step by step. 

     Lightning struck out from Entity, voices were in the distance, treacherous voices speaking only of empty promises and fake friendships.  They just wanted attention, such shallow thoughts... but the entity knew better. It could sense the hidden hostility, the falseness of their kindness... those kinds of people only made "friendships" for their own selfish needs.  The moment you stop feeding them what they want, they abandon you.  Lightning surrounded the entity, creating a static barrier and thunderous shocks... drowning out the insidious cries.  The entity trudged on, looking for what little purity is left, if any.

If something can be destroyed by truth, then it should be.

How I realized I'm "One of those people."

I just realized that I'm weird.

I'm one of the people who would prefer to spend a lot of time with just one person.

If I could just survive I think without interacting with someone else but one person. I totally would.

That's the definition of a clingy person.

Maybe that's why I hate other people?

Fuck other people.

not you, (the guy/girl) reading, if you know me then you're cool.

For now.

But I just realized that I just hate other people except this one person.

It's kind of funny really. It's cynicism and hatred for everyone else but this one person.


it's very great having this one person to be so cynic with.

Being "One of those people" is great.

BEEP BEEP I'M A JEEP

I want to kill myself or stab myself and turn myself into a super human robotic shit



that moment when people are so stupid to the point you literally want to hurt yourself so you can turn into a cyborg and kill them all. 

but seriously. it'd be pretty awesome. then you basically have a free shield if your arm is made out of metal and what not.  


reminds me of FMA

just have a metal arm. turn into whatever u need it to.


THAT'D BE SO AWESOME.


next on list: get rich and turn into superhuman cyborg beast.

English 2 hard

I came across this image in imgur...
and I would like to share it.

the whole time difference thing

Most ppl experience maybe max 6 hours of time difference. But when you go somewhere with a 15 hour time difference it can be quite disorienting. Especially when you arrive at your home earlier (7pm) than the time you left at (11pm) in the SAME DAY.  Hey look guys! Time travelling EXISTS


just in a different sort of way.

you know.

Genital Thunderstorm

https://imgur.com/gallery/3YBNs autocorrect is OP

Ignorance is bliss

Cancer everywhurrr

When the average person is near death, for some reason it creates fear; and with it comes despair. But why despair? When you have lived your life, if you are old and had your fun, if you are 90 years old and saw your children grow up, marry, have kids of their own... why despair? why fear?

The hardest trait to find is acceptance.

Ignorance is bliss, after all.

And if you are young, immediate death; nothing you can do.
Something like cancer, you still have time. Live out your life then. You know what to do with those savings. You can use them right now and just do what you want before you die. Finish that checklist. 

The only thing you could fear if you are dying, is fearing for those you are leaving behind.  Fear of hurting them and them falling to despair.  But they too, must come to accept your passing.  


Death serves as a reminder for us to appreciate the living... and if the living is unfortunate then death serves as a release. 

Steps

Being part of a group was not something I aimed for. It just sort of happens. To regular people I seem like an anomaly, some cut-out character from a movie or book that they might have read or heard of. Intriguing was a word that was used to describe me quite frequently.

But once they get to know me and delve deeper into my personality they realize that things become too real. Is it my fault that the very thing they admire in me is also the thing they suddenly begin fearing? There are those who feel that they are okay with the darker actions as long as it protected others. A sense of greater good, or justice if you will. There are those who think they can handle a bit of fire and chaos in their life but if you introduce to them just enough to singe them slightly they begin to fear a deep burning and completely back off.

I left a trail of bad friendships and hatred towards me when all I wanted was some companionship. I couldn't help what I was and all the negativity towards me grew into such a weight that it pulled me down and made me feel like I was never going to fit in and there would be no reason to continue. I was a mistake and I didn't know how to fix myself.

Then I met others like me. Some called them outcasts and thugs. I called them friends. A type of friendship that transcended stupid drama and instead stepped quickly into an unspoken agreement of trust through fire.

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

poofpoof

When you love someone so much, you start to understand the "cheesiness" that people describe; that they do not understand.  The feeling that many artists have tried to capture, but failed to do so.  Not because they are incompetent, but simply because it is impossible.  The feeling of happiness that comes from such genuine love. True happiness.  It cannot be captured in any art form.  Too complex, too potent to describe in words, song, pictures.  

One does not understand it until he/she experiences it.  It overcomes you.  

It is like when you sink to the very bottom when you are depressed. When you lose something or someone dear to you.  When that abyss closes in and you can't see anything else but darkness.  Or when you have a panic attack. A phobia.

Except it's the exact opposite.

You're soaring. Elated. No, not even those words suffice. 

You only understand when you feel it. 

what if

What if you could control the weather?

What if you could see glimpses of the future?

The future is dangerous to see.  Most of the time, whether you believe in this or not, the fact is visions usually show negative things.  Bad things that are going to happen or might happen.  The problem is knowing which one.  Seeing the future is a burden too; it causes you to worry.  Some things can't be changed. 

But some things can, and this is where the worry drops in.  Should you do something about it? Or let it happen?  What if you could prevent the death of one you loved? Or is the vision only a warning? A sign not to do something.

Ignorance is bliss... is it not? Albeit not genuine happiness or bliss, but bliss nonetheless. Who's to judge?

TIL boners can daze


that is all.

That moment when...

So have you ever have that moment where you're not sure what it is... like you got hit in that area but u got a bruise in a specific area that u dont remember getting hit.. but then you're not sure if it's a bruiser or a pimple or a mosquito bite or something.. so you're just sitting there like this hurts and i'm not sure why?

koo well it looks like i got punched in the eye. eyelid is like. swollen or something.
but i didn't get punched in the eye. so. it hurts when i blink. that's cool.



on a lighter note

it's sunny. :D


smoooooooothieeeee

Smoothies are so good.  

HAVE A GOOD DAY

Thanks for reading.