Suicide

The day started terribly, I woke up suddenly from the stress and I felt the beginning of my flu already emerging in the morning, greeting me with a nice throaty cough.

Then I stepped on a tack.

But who fucking cares because I have work.

Doesn't matter because I'm training the person who will probably be replacing me soon. Then I try to fix things but they never fix because I'm always wrong and everything I do I never do correctly anymore.

That's what I feel like now.



Someone who tries and tries but always seem to fall short.



Doctors are a good reminder of ones humanity. How fragile someone like me is.

Apparently I'm weak and I shouldn't let things affect me so much. Like getting the flu from stress. That's a pretty big fucking deal isn't it?

But I should be able to easily fix that, right? I don't even know anymore.



Then I argued with someone on the phone and forgot to smile at the person most important to me because I was still so angry at the person on the phone.

Then I pissed everyone off eventually.

Why am I even alive?