I ran over A DOG... IN SPACE. Almost.

Sometimes i drive my space dog mobile into the dog planet "dog-place" and i run over space dogs in my space dog driving car. In this space dog driving car, where is dog pictures and various dog related things. These things can include dogs, and space dogs (but mostly dogs). When i dress myself with dog skin and explode from my only semi habituated dog lacking planet (known as earth) i make sure to try and drive over as many earth dogs as possible with my dog crushing dog car. I call my dog car Dr. Dog Destroyer the second. Dr Dog Destroyer the first was broken into by a gang of space dogs. They stole my car lighter. Those damn dirty dogs. Anyways, my Dog driving dog destroyer was speeding through dog space time when ALL OF A SUDDEN.... i drove over a dog... IN SPACE. Almost. I guess it's a dog eat dog car driving fender world.

Hello, my name is Roland. Please stand back while I redefine the circle.

We can all agree that my life has been great but it can be better. Strangely it only took a simple class exercise for me to discover this.

Let me introduce myself, I'm just an ordinary guy trying to make the best out of life. You could say I'm living the hedonistic lifestyle. While this consists of sleeping in late, which is good, it means I don't do anything productive, which is bad. The times I am up are waste on YouTube and games, which is good, it also leads to time being wasted, which is bad. To sum up the majority of my life, it consists of sleeping, playing games, and amusing myself with cat videos. I think it's safe to say about a quarter of the views have been from me on keyboard cat. While this lifestyle is ideal, it's something that I'm fed up with. In light of this need for a positive change I'm setting forth a plan, one of which will either fix me, or cause my own demise; either way you guys have the privilege to be up front and centre.

Debut music

Before I go into the details of my wonderfully planned outline, I feel it's necessary for me to explain why this post was created. This all started in creative writing class. We were being taught about the technological side of the industry, as the physical part of publication has decreased over the years and online presences are the norm. What I speak of are blogs, which for an emerging writer we're given the opportunity to showcase our works to a broader audience. The main problem with this gift is that we're in competition against one another as writers, we try to get ourselves noticed by the internet; a mad dash to create an interesting profile for others to connect and familiarize themselves with. This is where the exercise comes into play, as a way to further develop the reasoning behind our blogs. Oddly enough in our writing class this exercise didn't revolve around what the main subject was, writing. Rather, we were indulged in an activity that had us visually represent who we were or how were were feeling with paints. Now for any person who had to represent themselves visually comes challenges, one of which I did encounter. Like if I was a duke blue or princeton orange, as the choices of colours were many. In the end I finished the exercise and this is was the result. Now for the plan.

Step one is to figure out the key things in my life, and as the list stands it consists of sleeping, gaming, and overall anything fun. While the idea of becoming a professional sleeper is one I'd love to pursue, sadly there's no demand for this occupation, yet. Perhaps the sleeping industry would need more time to sleep on it. This then leaves me to ponder about my other options, especially the gaming aspect. It's safe to say I play games constantly, who doesn't nowadays. For the longest time it's been a dirty habit I've been embarrassed about, but as the first step of addiction treatment states, one must accept their disease before they can change for the better. Myself, I'm just getting around this curve. But to admit this seems to have negative connotation surrounding the habit itself, the complete opposite of what I've seen trending around the web. This is clearly evident as YouTube persona like Robbaz, Videogamedunky, Psystarcraft, Niichts, SomaZ, Purge, and others who thrive as the community gamers people spend hours watching, myself included. Now to make a long story short, after spending a considerable amount of time thinking things through I've decided to throw my hat into the ring. Only once I get a better nerd machine (computer) to handle the task ahead. For the time being I'll be planning the ground works and letting you folks into the thought process behind so.

Step two will be figuring out my online profile. Stay tuned for the next episode.

Painting for class exercise       

Bribing homeless people for their clothes

     Sometimes I wonder how much easier it would be to be homeless. If I really give it some thought, and naive reasoning, a homeless person is essentially living THE life; the true 'thug lyfe'. I can't imagine a time when being homeless isn't better.

     Here is a hypothetical, imagine you are on the bus going to an ostrich party or something and some homeless guy gets on (for free) and sits next to you. Now this homeless guy smells like a potent syrupy concoction of sweat, mostly dry liquor, and maybe poop. From your angle that guy might be the worst thing to ever assault your sensitive nose holes - sensory rape if you will. He not only smells bad, but kind of ruined the idea of going to an ostrich party. He looks just as bad, his face and hair look like they probably got stuck in a car engine (for at least a few days). Not only that but it appears he only owns jean jackets and military surplus clothing. This guy is perhaps the epitome of homelessness; at least in your eyes. So here is the question, how do you feel about this man?

      I guess that most people would be disgusted by this man, they might feel a moment of remorse for judging him so harshly, but that's just how it goes. If you disagree you're probably trying give yourself a big ol' pat on the back for being such a morally righteous cunt. Now think of the scenario from the homeless mans perspective. From this homeless guys point of view he just received a free ride, but this is no ordinary free ride. This free ride is full of people who simply smell fantastic. Everyone on this bus is so worried about looking like an idiot and smelling like a body odor anomaly that they cover every inch of themselves with some cosmetic or another. This man probably spent about 6 whole dollars on all his clothes and somehow this doesn't trouble him. You on the other hand have spent at least 70 dollars on all your clothes. Finally his looks, he looks like a sack of dripping puke, but you look fantastic. What better way to have a nice day than to look at nice things all day. Thankfully for this homeless man, the streets aren't littered with mirrors, only other comparatively beautiful people, so he doesn't really have to worry. You meanwhile are having terrible day, because all you really have in your world right now is this homeless man burned into your mind. Thus if we were keeping score right now it would be Homeless Man 3 - You 0 maybe even -1. This homeless man is now enjoying a wonderful day. Truly a grand victory and when you're homeless there are only grand victories.

     What I am trying to get at is that no matter how great of an ostrich party, breaking all social conventions comfortably may be one of the greatest feeling a person can feel. So when you see a homeless man, bribe him for his clothes. And when I say bribe him for his clothes, I mean ALL of his clothes. Even if you can't wear his clothes because it hurts, sleep easy knowing you've made the streets a little more awkward until he's found the nearest Salvation Army.

This might just be a regular Russian man and his dog.