I began this blog because I felt that nothing that I thought and felt was real until it manifested itself somehow into the world. Now — with the advent of smartphones and tablets, small thoughts became easy to quickly jot down, making the previously intimate activity of blogging mundane and inefficient. Why commit a large chunk of your week to trying to collect all your thoughts and ideas when instead you can just have: two post-it note apps, dozens of text notes on the phone — some with voice recordings, memos recorded by your AI assistant, or my hundreds of 50-page all-paper journals? Which by the way you can get for 10cents a piece right before the mom's buy them all out during the back-to-school sales. At least if you live here smack dab in the middle of a western rainforest.
This is my final documentation of most of the random stuff that I've spawned over the last decade. An archive of a stray kid born in 1992 in a 3rd world rainforest archipelago with fond memories of a white dog and mosquitos then jetted away to Canada to live amongst the people who he feels he never belonged in.
Whatever choices I make, whether intrinsic or extrinsic, stems from the fact that I never truly felt like I belong anywhere. Many times I sought out the fringe. Finding solace in the idea that there are others with similarly abstract despair within themselves that can't be easily labelled and categorised.
Maybe it sounds whiny. Unfortunately, I have to bleed in order to feel the gravity of the situation sometimes. That means that I get a little sappy and vulnerable to make this as honest as possible so I can be as satisfied with it.
So here we go.